Who Are You Thankful For?

The oxymoron of time flying while standing still describes the 20+ months for so many of us. It’s a time of uncertainty and discovery: our relationships with work, co-workers, the concept of “work” and with friends, family, community, leaders, the world. During the next 6 weeks of holidays and ending 2021, which can be a very lonely time for many, show the people you’re thankful for that you are thankful ~ that they matter and that the world is better because they are.

A blessed Thanksgiving to you all.

It's Time We Develop A New Relationship With Work

I've been following award winner, internationally acclaimed writer and speaker Tanveer Naseer for a while.  His wisdom and insight, put into language we can all understand and act upon, is a gift.  He generously let me post on his site earlier this month and I'm privileged to return the favor.  You can find more of Tanveer's sagacity on leadership and the workplace here, follow him on twitter @TanveerNaseer, and keep up on what he's thinking here.  Thank you, Tanveer!

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It's Time We Develop A New Relationship With Work 

Have you ever noticed how when someone tells us how they've been really busy with work, we automatically interpret this as being a bad thing?  Certainly, no one associates having a lot of work to do with sunshine, love, happiness or any other positive experience.

In many ways, this is a natural product of both our schooling and work experiences, where we're not guided and supported to use our genius, creativity, and talents in order to do the work we should do.  Rather, what is the more common experience is being funnelled through a system that puts us into neat slots like gears in a complex piece of machinery. 

When it comes to work, we've come to accept the concept of 'no pain, no gain' as being the proper route to success and prosperity.  That we need to tough it out in the hopes that – someday – we might finally be able to do what we want to do because we've 'paid our dues'.

To make matters worse, even if we are lucky enough to do work we enjoy, that sense of satisfaction tends to be short-lived as we're rarely given the space to grow and evolve, with the freedom to make mistakes without being blackballed a failure and someone no longer worthy of development or the attention of those in charge.

And so, we inevitably hunker down, hoping that someday our ship will come in as a reward for all the sacrifices we've made, and we'll finally get to live the life we always wanted and do the work that we've dreamed about doing all those many years ago.

No doubt this is why so many insurance and retirement planning companies rely on images of retired couples lounging on a boat off some tropical island, or taking up salsa dancing lessons before enjoying a night on the town. 

In each instance the message is clear – we can live the life we really want . . . but only after we've committed to giving the best part of our lives today to doing work that might not be what we had planned or should be doing.

In this light, it's not too surprising why we've created a negative connotation around the word 'work', whether it's as a verb or a noun.

Of course, there's a truth that we need to come to terms with if we are to truly succeed and thrive – both professionally and personally – and that is that we're not making sacrifices.  We're making choices.  Bad choices.  Safe choices.  Choices that those around us tell us are the 'smart' ones to make, but are often not the best ones for us to choose.

I know I've made a few of those in my past – choices I made to help pay the bills while waiting for that opportunity that I really wanted to show up.  And that's where we fall into the trap, because while we may have accepted these choices as temporary, they soon become the work we do and the life we live because we stop looking for that path that we were meant to take; of reconnecting with the work we were meant to do.  We give up on such dreams in favour of pragmatism and familiarity; of sticking to what we know instead of what we need.

To be clear, this isn't about simply 'doing what we love'.  It's about learning to love what we do because it provides us with a sense of fulfilment.  That our work becomes more than simply a means of survival and living, but a way for us to employ our talents, our genius, and our creativity and drive towards something meaningful and purpose-driven.

While the growing levels of anxiety, fear and stress we see in today's workplaces are partly due to the prevailing uncertainties surrounding the global economy, it is also a manifestation of that disconnect between what we do and why we do it. 

And it's becoming clear as we move further into this century that this approach to our careers and lives is no longer sustainable; that we've reached a tipping point where people can no longer be expected to feel happy or fulfilled by working to live.  Instead, we need to shift the paradigm to one where people live to work.

Of course, that doesn't mean that the sole reason for our lives is our work; that answering the typical question 'what do you do for a living' serves to define the sum total of our existence.  Rather, it means that we need to be more mindful in ensuring that the work we do is aligned with our internal compass that guides us to finding our purpose and our ability to contribute meaningfully. 

That as much as we're helping our organization to attain its shared goals, we're also performing work that helps us to achieve a sense of purpose – that what we contribute matters and is meaningful beyond our sphere of influence.

In the Great Pyramid of Giza, Egyptologists have found carved in the stone blocks the names of some of the work teams that helped to build this monument.  The carvings were never meant to be seen by others.  Instead, they were made simply to demonstrate the workers sense of accomplishment and purpose that they derived from the simple, but back-breaking work of hauling these large stones into place.

Their example serves as a testimony that we don't need to 'have it all' to feel a sense of fulfilment or achievement.  Rather, all that's required is our willingness to no longer play it safe or waiting until later to commit our creativity, our passions and our dreams to that which not only creates meaning for others, but which also instills a sense of purpose and fulfilment within ourselves.

Tanveer Naseer is an award-winning and internationally-acclaimed leadership writer and speaker.  He is also the Principal and Founder of Tanveer Naseer Leadership, a leadership coaching firm that works with managers and executives to help them develop leadership and team-building competencies to guide organizational growth and development, while ensuring they remain focused on what creates a fulfilling sense of purpose in what they do.

You can read more of his writings on leadership and workplace interactions on his blog at TanveerNaseer.com.  You can also follow him on Twitter - @TanveerNaseer.

Create Career Sustainability One “Tweak” At a Time

I am blessed & honored to have Cali Yost guest blog.  The New York Times calls her “one of the smartest, sophisticated thinkers” and Mashable lists her as 1 of the Top 14 Career Experts on Twitter.  Personally, Cali has helped me achieve work+life fit! Not an easy task and an ongoing process.  I urge you to read her post and buy her book.  It will make a big difference in your life.
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A couple of years ago, Sharon’s financial research team moved to another bank.  It was a difficult and stressful period.  Everyone logged long hours and frequent business trips across multiple time zones.

They did it because what mattered most, at the time, was that their team stayed together and made the transition a success.  But now, as Sharon explained when I met with her recently, “The leadership team is literally falling apart and we are only in our mid 40’s.”

“My two direct reports, who have been with me for over ten years, are having the most trouble.  One has migraine headaches that are so severe that, once or twice a week, he’s either late or doesn’t come in at all.  The other is in the midst of a messy and distracting divorce.”

She continued, “I am trying to be patient. I don’t want to let either of them go.  I’ve already lost too many valuable people. We have been through a lot together and they help me run the business.  I’ve tried to give them the work flexibility they need to deal with their issues.  I am hopeful, but I need a life too.”

“I can’t help but wonder what we could have done differently.  At the time, it seemed as if we had no choice but to give everything we had to work.  Looking back, the pace was unsustainable.  We are all paying the price now.  Unfortunately, I’m not sure what the alternative would have been. ”  Then she stopped and looked at me, “Was there an alternative?”

Sadly, Sharon and her team are not alone.  Leaders in today’s competitive, 24/7, global economy easily fall into an “all work, all the time” trap.  It may seem to make perfect sense at the time.  But, ultimately, it undermines the very career longevity and success they are trying to achieve, personally and for their team. 

The “all work, all the time” behavior of leaders sets the tone for the rest of the workplace.  It makes it difficult for others to confidently take the lead and manage their responsibilities on and off the job.

I explained to Sharon that small shifts in how the team approaches work and life will help them recover from and avoid the trap in the future. 

In my new book, TWEAK IT: Make What Matters to You Every Day (Center Street/Hachette) I share how to build a solid foundation of everyday well-being and order in the face constantly competing demands.  The steps include:

Take deliberate action in the areas that sustain your health, personal relationships, career networks, job skills and life maintenance, or they won’t happen.  Fifteen years ago, before mobile phones and the Internet, you could put in a 10-hour workday, go home and focus uninterrupted on other parts of your life.  No more.  You need to put up the boundaries.  My research shows that most of us still haven’t quite grasped this fact. 

Openly encourage work+life “fit,” not balance.  Say the words “work-life balance” and leaders immediately laugh, roll their eyes and throw up their hands like they’ve heard the most ridiculous joke.  In their minds, a 50-50 split between work and life is never going to happen.  So why bother. 

But work+life “fit” is not only possible.  It is a must.  It’s about finding the fit between your work and life based on your current realities on and off the job.  If there’s a lot of work right now, fine.  In that context, what could you do to get some sleep, eat healthfully, move your body, connect with your loved ones or whatever you need to do to be fresh and your best?  That’s your fit.

Follow the simple, weekly TWEAK IT practice.  It helps you harness the power small, deliberate actions, or “tweaks,” that makes a big difference.  Look at your work and personal “to do s” for the week. What’s missing? What do you want more of, and less of? What do you want to continue? Write the small actions in the areas that matter to you right now on your calendar and priority list.  Get to bed early one night.  Have dinner with your partner and don’t check your phone. Attend a class to learn a new skill, or plan a long weekend away.  It doesn’t take much, but over time, these moments add up.

Communicate with, collaborate with and cover for each other so that what matters at work and in life gets done, flexibly and creatively.  For example, after the team returns from a business trip, take turns working from home one day.  Instead of commuting that day, pay your bills.  Walk your dog.  Catch your breath.  This coordination is especially important in businesses with global clients.  Create a time zone coverage schedule so everyone gets periodic breaks from late night calls and emails. 

Don’t seek perfection.  If you achieve 70% of the small actions that matter to you, it’s better than 0%.  You may miss lunch with a friend because of an important work call, but the point is that you made a conscious choice.  You deliberately, and intentionally chose whether or not you will take that call or miss that lunch.  Rather than having it not happen by default. 

If Sharon and her team follow these steps, they won’t fall into the “all work, all the time” trap again and would still get the job done.  In our highly mobile, always on, 24-7 society, business success must include career sustainability.  We create it together one small, deliberate, imperfect “tweak” at a time. 

What small actions matter the most in your everyday work+life fit?

To take the lead and start managing your everyday work+life fit, read TWEAK IT: Make What Matters to You Happen Every Day. Track your “tweaks of the week” on your mobile device with the “My Tweaks” tracker on the www.tweakittogether.com site.