2016 is coming to a close, and not soon enough for some. 2016 (well, most of the 20th & 21st Centuries) has been a year of I-It* – where the I (yes, that’s us folks) treat others as It’s – as functions, transactions, products, services – provided for our benefit and happiness. In an I-It world, our happiness, satisfaction, and worth are externally driven and temporary, requiring the next happiness "fix" and rarely requiring much, if any self-sacrifice.
So, let’s make 2017 the start of an I-Thou epoch. In 2017, let’s treat others as Thou’s – as fellow humans in relationship with us, as people we are willing to make sacrifices for, not as functions for our benefit. In an I-Thou world, we can both disagree and argue with each other AND still listen and value each other. Our sense of satisfaction is intrinsically created from the breadth, depth and diversity of our relationships with Thou’s (not It’s). This is a more permanent, fulfilling sense of, well, Joy - not fleeting and addictive as happiness.
“Let’s make 2017 the start of an I-Thou epoch.”
While the I-It of 2016 will greatly influence 2017, we don't have to let it control our personal and professional lives. Join me in making 2017 the start of the I-Thou era in all aspects of our lives. I believe - I know - that the beacon of light from a few I-Thou’s, actually from many I-Thou's all over a county, a state and a country, will light the world.
I'm honored to have Frank Sonnenberg guest post an excerpt of his Must Read book, BOOKSMART - which you have to get. See Frank's bio at the end of the post and again, get the book - it will change how you think, lead, behave, live.
“Living in the Fast Lane”
In today’s wonderful world of time-saving technologies, you’d think we’d be beneficiaries of an improved quality of life. More time for friends and family, more time to pursue personal interests, and more time to follow our dreams.
Wrong!
Despite these continuing advances, time saved has become time filled. Bombarded with added responsibilities, working families are faced with greater demands and obligations, increased stress levels, and tough choices to make between personal and professional commitments. In many cases, instead of living life to the fullest, we’re living life on the edge — cramming as much as we can into a day, scrambling to get ahead, and running rampant on what sometimes seems to be a never-ending pursuit of the almighty buck.
This is life now that hyper-speed Internet communication has connected us to the demands of a hyper-speed world. One where tomorrow is not good enough for answers needed today. One where the pace of life that we once knew has changed forevermore, slamming us into high gear — full rev…with no time for idling. And often, no time for breathing.
Too often, our “must-do” lists do not include doing something for ourselves. Like hamsters, we live on a non-stop treadmill running pointlessly to nowhere, as moments pass us by. The scene of the “Norman Rockwell family” gathered together around the table has, in many instances, been replaced with that of working parents struggling to make ends meet. And children are being raised by others while we embrace a frantic daily work ritual. In short, we are becoming “absentee parents,” losing opportunities to spend quality time with our children.
This is life.
Or, perhaps better stated…this is life?
Sadly, we are losing the priceless things that we once treasured. An extra hour or two to putter around the house, the joy of watching a child’s first steps, or taking time to make our favorite chocolate chip cookies from scratch using grandma’s recipe. And — home-cooked meals? Who has the time?
Today, those home-cooked meals we once enjoyed have been replaced by take-out dinners or a quick stop at the drive-through window. Family meals around the table have been reduced to grabbing a bite with anyone who happens to be home at the time, rather than “being a family” at least once during the day. Family conversations are fast disappearing, and what once was quality family time has now evolved to a drone-like fixation on a mega-sized TV screen, fighting for possession of the remote.
Even those special occasions we once anticipated and celebrated have been reduced in significance. For example, many holidays have become over-commercialized, and we find ourselves looking at them as “days off,” rather than pausing to reflect on their true meaning and sharing them as a family, as a community, and as a united nation. And the care and time once spent thinking about buying, or making, just the right gift has, in many cases, been replaced with gift certificates — that is, if we can remember the occasion in the first place. These pleasures are often lost in the blur of living life in the fast lane, gone because we fail to hit the pause button and put our lives back into perspective. In many cases, we’re becoming worker ants with tunnel vision.
The sobering fact is that there will come a point in time when we sit back, or more likely collapse in exhaustion, wondering what we’ve gained from this frenetic race called life. And in those moments of retrospection, will we really regret that missed promotion, the rejected proposal, or not being able to buy the bigger house? Or will we ponder our failed relationships — the feelings left unshared with someone we love, or the precious time lost with our children? Sadder yet, will we find ourselves living in a society where future generations accept these values as the norm?
Attention, Fellow Homo sapiens!
This is your wake-up call before it’s too late — the early warning signal to get a perspective on the things that matter.
Make time for yourself — if only just a few minutes — to reflect and regain some perspective — where you can redirect, realign, and realize a better, more rewarding life.
As authors, we find that we, too, are very much a part of this hyper-speed lifestyle that we’re all living. We’re no better than the next hardworking parent or individual trying to keep it all together. But, in our quieter moments, we do realize that there is a need to slow down…to put on the brakes and consider those values that are most important in life.
So take a moment to replenish your energies, re-establish your priorities, and re-introduce yourself to those things you once held close to your heart. There’s more to life than increasing its speed.
Frank Sonnenberg is an award-winning author. He has written six books and over 300 articles. Frank was recently named one of “America's Top 100 Thought Leaders” and one of America’s Most Influential Small Business Experts. Frank has served on several boards and has consulted to some of the largest and most respected companies in the world. Additionally, FrankSonnenbergOnline was named among the “Best 21st Century Leadership Blogs” and among the "Top 100 Socially-Shared Leadership Blogs." Frank’s newest book BOOKSMART: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness, was released November, 2016
When is a fact true? This is a major question we’re asking given the pre/post-election. Sometimes, the answer isn’t a simple yes it’s true or no it’s not true. Sometimes the caveat “it depends…” provides critical insight into the context, constraints, veracity and therefore, applicability of the fact.
Let’s take 2 seemingly contradictory facts we’ve heard this past year:
Violent crime is up
Violent crime is down
According to the FBI and other studies, overall violent crime in the USA is at historic lows over the past 30, 10 and 5 years. Yet, when you examine the data in the same studies, it becomes clear both statements above are true:
There is a 5.5% rise is violent crime from 2015 to 2016 with half of that coming from LA and Chicago and yet, the overall rate is still at the “bottom of the nation’s 30-year downward trend.”
Chicago accounts for almost half the increase in murders from 2015 to 2016 with decreasing murder rates in Baltimore and Washington D.C. and New York as one of safest big cities.
Bottom line? Both facts are true. What you do with those facts depends on the questions you ask about those facts. What you ask with the subsequent iteration of answers and questions, is critical for making wise informed decisions. So try asking:
What is the timeframe?
Are there outliers?
What did/didn’t these facts (and underlying data) take into account (what’s missing)?
What do these facts assume?
How long will these facts be true?
Who did the study and who paid for it?
What other questions arise from this fact?
What would it mean if this wasn't true? Who would benefit or be harmed?
etc.....
The ability to interpret truth from facts is a critical skill for success - in business and in life. So starting today, or okay, tomorrow, ask questions when you're presented with facts - sales, recruiting, efficiency, inventory, market trends, anything - just start and see what you learn!
Deb Mills-Scofield
Deb is here to reveal to organizations their beginner's mind while giving them the tools to execute.
